On July 1st 1995 at 12:30 a.m., Death Row Inmate Roger Dale
Stafford was executed. He was convicted of nine (9) murders and was perhaps the
most notorious criminal in Oklahoma. During the week leading up to the
execution the news media had their feeding frenzy, stirring it up and hyping it
for all it was worth.
They camped out in McAlester near the prison and created
story after story. They interviewed everyone they could get their hands on.
Stafford had been on Death Row for 17 years. When the news interviewed the
family members of one of the victims, they said they were happy to see that he
was going to die, because they could get on with their lives. 17 years... They
had been waiting 17 years to get on with their lives, to put the pain and the
grief behind them. They were angry because it took so long. Almost every time
the news interviews the family of a Death Row inmate's murder victim, the exact
same thing is said. Often in tears, the family bitterly relates how long they
have had to wait before they can put it all behind them. They explain how, now
that another man is dead, now that the person who hurt them is gone, they can
go on with the rest of their lives. Now they can live in peace. Every time I
hear the statements such as these I think, "Dear people, why have you
waited so long to put it behind you?"
The truth is you can't find peace in the death of a
murderer. That's not what brings peace to a troubled soul. What brings peace is
LETTING GO OF YOUR PAIN. And if you wait years for someone else to die before
you let go of your pain, then the only true thing you've done is let that
person continue to hurt you until the day he died. You have to forgive.
Forgive! That's the one word NO ONE wants to hear when it comes to crime.
Especially murder! To even say to someone, "You have to forgive that
man," is like a slap in the face to a victim. Even mentioning the word
will often cause an outburst of anger and venom. "Forgive him?! Do you
know what he did to me? I'm not going to forgive him. Give me a gun and I'll
kill him, but I'm not going to forgive him. He doesn't deserve to be
forgiven!" ...doesn't deserve to be forgiven." That's true. Someone
who maliciously hurts, even kills another person does NOT deserve to be
forgiven.
You don't forgive because someone deserves it. You never
forgive because someone deserves it. You forgive because (1) It's commanded by
God. YOU forgive because (2) Vengeance and punishment belongs to God NOT to
you. You forgive because (3) There is no other way to go on with your life.
IT'S COMMANDED BY GOD In the Lord's prayer Jesus prayed
"... and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." (MATT.
6:12) This was one of the first references Jesus makes to a spiritual principle
that is continued throughout the Bible. Forgive us AS we forgive... This was
not just a request for people to make of God. It was a spiritual fact. Later
Jesus clearly explained it's almost harsh words: " For if you forgive men
their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."
However, if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither
will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matt. 6:14-15) It was Peter who
later came to Jesus about this. You see, the teaching at that period declared
that God would forgive a person three times, but the fourth time God would not
forgive. The fourth time would invoke punishment. They even had a scripture for
it: " For three transgressions of Gaza and for four I will not turn away
its punishment. (Amos 1:6) The people - the "teachers" of that day
could quote the Bible to you and give you a Biblical reason why they would
forgive a person only three times."
Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord how often shall
my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" (Matt.
18:21) Peter took a great step above and beyond the expected level of behavior
for that day. Seven was the number of perfection, of completeness. Seven meant
a lot, and Peter knew it. Then Jesus said:
, "I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times
seven." (Matt. 18:22) Jesus was effectively saying, "Completion times
completion times completion!"
The Lord's reply was indicative of completeness, the absence
of any limit, and was designed to turn away Peter's mind from merely a
"numerical standard". God's forgiveness is limitless. Why would Jesus
command us to do something like this? If we just forgave people EVERY time they
did something wrong or evil, wouldn't evil run the earth?
Why should we unlimitedly forgive the people who sin against
us? It is the foundation for our relationship with God in a painful world.
Jesus answered that with the following parable. "Therefore is the kingdom
of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his
servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed
him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord
commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and
payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him,
saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of
that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the
debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which
owed him an hundred pence; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat,
saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet,
and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And
he would not; but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came
and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had
called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant. I forgave thee all that debt,
because thou desiredest me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thou
fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and
delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts
forgive not every one his brother their trespasses." (Matt. 18:23-35)
Why would Jesus say we HAVE to forgive those who hurt us?
Because here God is calling us to remember who we are to Him. Ten thousand
talents was an incredible sum of money. It was like ten million dollars. A
hundred denarii would be like a dollar. God is here, blatantly reminding us of
the debt we each owe to Him. He's reminding us of the sins we have committed,
the sins that He has freely forgiven us for.
"If you Lord, should mark iniquities O Lord, Who could
stand? But there is forgiveness with you that you may be feared." (Psalm
130:3-4) If God kept a register of our sins against Him, who could stand? Look
in the deepest part of your heart and you know the true wickedness that is
there: "The heart is deceitful
above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" (Jer. 17:9)
Every time we look at the pain someone has caused us, every time we see the
sins someone has committed against us, we must compare them to the sins we have
committed against God, the pain we have caused, and because God has forgiven us
FREELY, then we too must forgive. If we don't, then God clearly says He won't
forgive us.
"But murderers deserve death! My sins don't compare to
his!" You don't forgive because your sins compare to his. You forgive
because God has forgiven You. We cannot ever come to God and receive His
salvation - the salvation paid for by the death and blood of His dear Son, if
we refuse to forgive those who have hurt us. Jesus made this very clear:
"And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything
against anyone forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you
your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will Your Father in heaven
forgive your trespasses". (Mark 11:25-26)
You don't forgive because someone deserves it. You forgive
because God has commanded it. VENGEANCE AND PUNISHMENT BELONGS TO GOD If we
forgive everybody, what happens to justice? Forgiving someone does not cancel
out justice! What it does do is place justice in God's hands where it belongs.
The Bible is very clear about the role of the government in this: *
"Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For
there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever
therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that
resist shall receive to themselves damnation. For rulers are not a terror to
good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? Do that
which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister
of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he
beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to
execute wrath upon him that doeth evil." (Romans 13:1-4)
God is very interested in justice! He is the Author of
justice. But it must be for Him to determine. Moses and David were both
murderers without excuse, but God spared their lives. The Apostle Paul
persecuted and caused the death of innocent people - God's people - but still
God forgave and used him. God's justice and judgement are for Him to decree,
and Romans tells us that God works through the government, our legal system,
etc... We may not always understand. We may not always agree, and yes injustice
may even happen at the hands of the law, but it must still be surrendered to
God. We trust God to see that justice is done - His justice! We have NO right
to vengeance and recompense ourselves. It is NOT ours to handle.
"Vengeance is Mine, and recompense. Their foot shall
slip in due time..." (Deut. 32-35)
"O Lord God to whom vengeance belongs - O God to whom vengeance
belongs, shine forth!" (Psalm 94:1)
Often today, just like in Jesus' day when people used Amos
1:6 to justify their hard heartedness and unwillingness to forgive, people will
also use scripture to justify their own self will. "Eye for an eye, and
tooth for tooth" people will quote. But no! We have no authority to do
that. We do not use God's Word for our own means! Vengeance belongs COMPLETELY
to God.
"Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things
honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth to you,
live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourself, but rather
give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is Mine; I will repay,
saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirst, give
him drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not
overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:17-21)
Let the law be the law! The law must handle the criminal.
Let the authorities do what God has ordained them to do - punish the criminal!
You have no part in that outside the law, neither in action nor thought or
intent. You must forgive and return good for evil. You forgive not because it's
deserved, but because vengeance and punishment belongs to God, not you. TO GO
ON WITH YOUR LIFE There is a much deeper and far more personal reason to
forgive the people who hurt us. God's ways are never arbitrary. The depth of
His ways is so often far beyond us that we want to get angry at Him for
commanding them. We're like the child who sulks when told it is afternoon
naptime because he doesn't realize his little body needs one. Anyone who has
had a child knows that no nap means a cranky and drowsy baby come suppertime.
Sometimes, like children, we can't see the wisdom of God's ways, but they are
for our benefit. God has commanded us to forgive those who hurt us, and to not
seek out our own vengeance for a reason.
And that reason is for us! God is not some kind of ultimate
"bleeding - heart liberal" only concerned for you immensely! Every
tear you shed, every pain you feel, He shares with you. Those commands are for
you to help you. When we hold on to hatred and seek vengeance it destroys us
spiritually and emotionally, as well as physically! Anger and hatred that is harbored
is like emotional poison and disease. The more it's there - the more it
continues to grow. And the more it grows the more it takes from your life. All
your happiness, all your love, all your joy will be consumed by your pain and
anger, until your whole life has been swallowed up in something that happened
long long ago. Hatred and vengeance is like a hot coal. When we grab hold of
it, it burns us. The longer we keep hold of it the more we are scarred.
The only way to let it go is to release it. The only way is
to forgive! And forgiveness is NOT an emotion. We don't forgive when the pain
is gone from our hearts. We forgive so that the pain will go from our hearts.
Forgiveness is a DECISION. It's a conscious act of our will. If you wait until
a man has died before you go on with your life, then you live your life always
affected by the pain that man caused you. Put it behind you. Don't live your
life wrapped up in knots. Release it to God. Turn it over to Him and go on with
your life. Don't allow the victimizer to continue to victimize you! Do not
spend your life seeking for and waiting on justice! True liberty and freedom
comes only when we are not controlled by anything external. You can never know
freedom if your heart is ruled by pain, by hatred, by anger; you will always be
a slave to your past.
Every time you hear the name of the person who hurt you, you
will be overcome by the emotions of your heart. Only forgiveness can truly
change that. Only Forgiving! Nothing else! Forgiveness stops the treadmill of
revenge and turns off the video of wrongs that plays over and over in your
mind. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was
you. You can only find peace to your soul through forgiveness. Allow God to
help you learn how to let go and forgive. You deserve to be FREE!
